The Advantages of a Pet Yoda
by Coondog
Summary: Sick of boring old regular pets? This modified essay gives reasons why you should get a Yoda instead!


Why to Get a Pet Yoda 

Briana Conly

11/28/05

Right now in the US pets are boring and dreary, always repeating themselves, never really showing human emotions. However, having a Yoda as a pet would do several things much better than normal, lackluster animals. For example, a Yoda would decrease the amount of homework help most parents do daily. Also, a Yoda could aid in student defense and the bullyproofing curriculum. Furthermore, with a Yoda one could learn to speak various extraterrestrial languages. By reading this, the reader will realize why a Yoda would make a better pet choice.

Yodas will also aid with lots of schoolwork. Essentially, parents are tired of having to do school again because their children can't do their homework without help. Yodas are natural scholars, so parents will finally be free of needless extra work help. The Yoda lifespan is much longer than that of a human, so they have access to knowledge and life experience unattainable by even the oldest human. Additionally, the Yoda culture values learning and discipline, and they can impart these values to their young apprentices. By their very nature, Yodas are also caretakers a parent will be able to entrust their children to for long periods of time. This will allow the parent long periods of worry free time to engage in other activities. Yodas are also very patient. Because of their infinite age and wisdom, a Yoda will not become angry at a youngster for being a frustrated youngster. Also, Yoda have lots of understanding that growing up is a process, not just a moment in time. Yodas also understand that learning will take time, and will not be inclined to put time limits on a lesson. Also, a Yoda can provide several unheard-of homework excuses and evidence! You could use the, "My Yoda skewered my homework with his light sabre" excuse and show the evidence, or the, "I couldn't do my homework because my Yoda sliced my locker' excuse. Teachers have presumably heard those excuses before, but showing evidence (like the Yoda or the demolished object) will be an inevitable "Excused. Also, a teacher will assume that the excuse you give them is correct because of the fact you even have a Yoda, whom are noted for their honor and ethics .Additionally, these many excuses will aid in the creative aspect of a child's schoolwork. As can clearly be seen, no earthbound domesticated pet can do these things.

Another reason you should choose a Yoda when adopting a pet is because they are expert fighters and bodyguards, as well as tutors. Violence against the student will decrease. Yodas are Jedi masters, training since a young age in the arts of the Force. Therefore, a Yoda could be used to deter bullies and lawbreakers from a distance. Using the force in self-protection has often resulted in attackers being strangled at a distance and no one knowing why. The mere fact of having a Yoda as a pet will also deter bullies. The unusual sight of having a yoda at one's side, may sidetrack potential bullies, who will just me marveling at the view. Furthermore, a Yoda could easily train students to use a light sabre and the force. A student would have a double defense; he would be able to defend himself, even as his yoda was defending him. The discipline required to learn how to become a Jedi would affect homework and the student's future in a positive way. Being able to use the force would also help parental relationships, because the student could use the force for household chores. Also, a student on their own, when the Yoda leaves to help another, would need knowledge of how to defend themselves. As everyone knows, the Sith lords would be very quick to attack an unprotected yoda's family, your family and friends will need a defense. Without the Yoda there, you will take its place. Your family and friends can be safe not only from Sith Lords, but also from other threats, like robbers, that a trained student could provide them with. The confidence a student would feel, knowing that they are able to protect themselves and others, would be invaluable. Could any ordinary pet provide that kind of service?

Lastly, one would require a Yoda to learn to speak a range of languages. A normal kid would only be able to speak certain, specified languages, but a Yoda could expand the horizons of speech and knowledge much more. Learning to speak extraterrestrial languages has many benefits, revealed in the following dialogue: Learning to speak Wookie has been shown to raise the IQ of kids. To speak Gibberish has been shown to increase the social life of a person, and learning to speak Sith is confirmed to deflect bullies. Additionally, Learning extraterrestrial languages will aide in the development of our ability to relate to others outside of Earth. Also, being able to speak extraterrestrial languages could help in achieving the goal of an aspiring astronaut. Also, a Yoda may aid in the learning of several earth languages not necessarily easily available in school. For a Yoda to do his job adequately, he must be able to converse in the primary language of the region or culture he is in. Therefore, he would know many different earth bound languages. Because he is a constant companion of a student, he would have the ability to expose this student to these languages on a continual basis. Also, being multi-lingual can be used to the students benefit in everyday life. For example, an angered student could curse somebody out in a different language and not get in trouble, which allows the student to vent his anger without any worry. Also, when on a trip in a different country, the student will know the language of the region. It is also known that speaking various languages assists in widening the range of career choices students have. These are only a few of the many reasons being multi-lingual can benefit the student.

This author has clearly defined three important reasons why a Yoda would be a wonderful pet choice. A Yoda is a tutor, a bodyguard, a Jedi, and a friend all at the same time. A Yoda can reduce the amount of work guardians do, protect a kid from harm and teach them to protect themselves. Additionally they are small and don't eat much and rooming space is minimal. They are able to reinforce parent's rules, they are naturally potty trained, and they don't have teeth, so dental costs are nonexistent. They can also levitate to reach things on high places, or they can help in other ways with chores because of their grasp of the Force. As can be clearly seen, a Yoda is the finest choice as a pet.


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